In the spirit of my current condition, I thought I’d take a few minutes to discuss the finer points of curing a hangover. We all know what causes a hangover, but what exactly is a hangover? One simple word: Revenge. A hangover is your body’s way of punishing you for poisoning yourself. You wouldn’t pour sulfuric acid in your gas tank and expect your car to win the Indy 500, and your body is no different. Just replace racing with basic motor skills and the ability to effectively leave your bed.
It’s far too late for fun analogies though, isn’t it? You’ve already made your mistakes; lucky for you, you don’t remember most of them. Let’s pretend
, that you’re suffering from a hangover, be it mild or of the Defreest caliber. How to do you shake the headache, nausea, and… the shakes?
Here are a few tips that may help you out if you find yourself in a situation that I find myself in far too often.
Skip the coffee. While coffee may seem like a great way to shock your brain back into coherence after a night of drinking, in all actuality, all it does is dehydrate you further. This is one of the main reasons you feel so terrible in the first place. The caffeine may help your head and your energy level, but it’s not doing you any favors in the long run.
What should you drink?
The short answer is water. However, when you’re dehydrated water isn’t always the best choice. Even though I usually condemn sugary drinks, they are actually your friend in this case. Sugary drinks like fruit juices, energy drinks, and the like will help hydrate you faster, which should help curb your headache.
Energy drinks like Gatorade are also a good way to get your brain back into working order. I’m not going to get into the science of it, because my brain hurts just thinking about it, but let’s just say it has something to do with electrolytes. Whatever those are.
This one is a no brainer, but I had to mention it: Aspirin. Regardless of why your head hurts, aspirin and other pain killers will help you with your hangover. However, if you are on an empty stomach, they may make you nauseas, if you are not already. So eat something, if you’re going to take this route.
Finally, this isn’t the best choice but it has been proven to work. If you’re suffering from the effects of alcohol the cure might be… wait for it: More alcohol! Although, all this is going to do is postpone the inevitable, drinking more will help you shake your hangover. A Bloody Mary or a Screwdriver will make you feel better at the moment, but just know that you’re going to have to deal with your hangover at some point. While I am never one to discourage the consumption of alcohol, just don’t say I didn’t warn you.
We can dance around this fact all day, but we all know that the best cure for a hangover is simply not drinking in the first place. But where’s the fun in that? Who doesn’t love going out, having a few drinks, meeting new people, creating new memories, and promptly forgetting them? We all need a fun night of drinking with our friends every once in awhile to help us out when we’re feeling down. After all, nothing chases the blues away like a depressant.
What are some of your favorite hangover cures?